


Brain Bleach and Funbags

by PompousPickle



Series: Almost Boyfriends [5]
Category: Almost Human
Genre: F/F, Genderbending, tits, we're talking about tits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-27
Updated: 2014-01-27
Packaged: 2018-01-10 07:19:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1156711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PompousPickle/pseuds/PompousPickle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a tumblr prompt requesting Almost Lesbians. To which I got extremely excited and wrote the "dick scene" from "Blood Brothers", but with a Female Dorian and John.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brain Bleach and Funbags

After driving in relative silence that morning, air hanging heavy between them, Joan finally had to say something. “I can’t get it out of head!” She nearly grunted out, gripping the steering wheel and nearly banging her head against the car window.

The DRA looked at her with a crooked expression. “Excuse me?”

“The life-size ken doll!” Honestly, Joan was a little surprised that she even needed to explain it. He was just…standing there. Staring at her. With his lifeless little eyes and distinct lack of…equipment, acting like nothing was wrong. She cringed just thinking about it.

Doria couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “ _That’s_ what’s bothering you? I’m the one who has to live with them. I have no privacy and they always stare at me. Imagine how I feel.”

“I’m trying not to,” Joan muttered. Of course, she knew Doria must hate living there. But still, one female surrounded by tons of naked almost-men all of the time? Well, it was suspect to say the least.

“Oh come on. You know it’s not like that,” Doria insisted. And then, after a beat of silence, she added, “You have to tell Maldonado that I need my own place.”

Joan only turned to her partner with a twisted expression, her eyebrows crooked and face scrunched up. Doria rolled her eyes. “You were down there, Joan! You remember what it’s like!”

“Yeah. I’m trying to get it out of my mind,” she responded with a wince. She couldn’t help but glance over at her partner.

“Welcome to my personal hell,” Doria said, eyes wide and grave and her voice dropped low.

Obviously, the DRAs weren’t like that. At least up top, anyway. Joan didn’t really want to think about the rest of her, how she was built below the belt. But she was definitely more realistic when it came to…well, certain assets. Joan felt herself swallow as she caught herself glancing down at Doria’s chest.

It’s not like the synthetic tried to _hide_ them. They were just kind of…there. And big. And well…

The DRA caught the detective staring, a twisted smile on her lips. She casually ran her hand in front of her shirt, unbuttoning the top, her face revealing nothing. Joan blinked and turned away, eyebrows raised and blood rushing in her ears.

“You know, if you wanted to take a look…” Doria started.

“ _Don’t_ ,” Joan warned, trying to keep her eyes on the road. At this point, she was convinced that her partner was either trying to make her life a living hell or trying to get them into a car crash. Either way, the detective resented it.

But she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

They were so big and round and _bouncy_. Why did she even _need_ them that big? What the hell was she going to _do_ with them? What were they even made out of? Were they soft? How would they feel between Joan’s…

Kennex groaned out loud in frustration, banging her head against the steering wheel briefly before looking back up at the road. Doria only laughed a little next to her, wearing that same, smug little smirk that she always seemed to wear, knowing full well that she was driving her partner insane. In more ways than one.

“You know what? Just…don’t even look at me,” Joan grunted, stepping on the gas and praying for some kind of murder or bank robbery to distract her from this hell. 


End file.
